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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?