🔗 Share this article That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year. Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to. The Charlie Sheen Documentary Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist. The Iris Affair Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost. The Gangster Drama Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back. Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic. The Meghan Markle Series Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are obviously interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series. The Game Show It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it. The Lena Dunham Romcom How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not good enough to be ‘uneven’. Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer. The Knox Dramatisation This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely. The Maths Genius Thriller We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.